I’m wondering if the eyes from my childhood would be happy with where I am today. I distinctly remember in grade school paging through my Science book further ahead than where we were because I was curious and loved the subject overall. (I learned the shorthand for the colors of the rainbow that way: Roy G. Biv.) Would that young girl be happy with where I am now? Maybe. I’d like to think so. I code all day and I love it. I have children now and they love me from what I can tell. My family is still a huge part of my life. I am extremely lucky to have a handful of very close and very wonderful friends. I aim to live my life with honesty and integrity still with that same curiosity for life, finding beauty in everything.
Grabbing the horns of life is still a challenge. I did it, I turned my life upside down. Completely fucking upside down despite everything. I tore down my fears and reached for happiness. I’m still reaching, I’m still looking for what I want for my future and my children’s future. It’s hard and lonely but I know I’m not alone. I’m not alone! Reaching out to my loved ones has helped me maintain my feet on the ground and clarity in the vision of my future I’m striving to create.
My optimistic heart also helps.