!!blue's blog

I’m still feeling run down lately. Today was a little better but I wasn’t able to listen to the music I really love because it just makes me cry. Zoé, Lucybell, Caifanes or anything like that just touches my soul and fills me with that desolation, that “apartness,” that keeps me inside away from everyone.

Le sigh. I took this photo this morning while waiting for the bus. A lovely ray of sun was shining from behind some tree branches just right.

bus stop sun

It was raining as I walked to my new bus stop this morning and I took a few pictures of the puddles. I took one I felt came out particularly well with the two leaves touching near the edge of a thin puddle.

do you see the world like I do?

I’m still feeling very sad but I don’t think bordering on depressed just yet. I feel so isolated from everyone, like I’m inside my head and my eyes are windows that are shut but transparent. I hate this and I don’t know what to do. It helps to write it all down right? I think so. Hoping one day I can read this and laugh at my silly feelings. We’ll see. Still, I’m happy I can look in the puddle and see the sky.

I guess it’s time to dust off my blog and start writing again. I’m hoping I can write a post each day but we’ll see how it goes. I’m divorced now and recently moved in with my family. It has been… interesting. It is frustrating to live with people who question your every move. I already failed at life, I know; I’ve accepted it and am moving on with my life and my children’s lives. But do I really need to rush in head first into another decision that could end up worst?

See, my parents want me to buy a house. Now. Today! ACT FAST! I am on one income and have two children. Is it really wise for me to buy property and have a mortgage on one income with two children? Because if it is, I don’t see it.

In related news, living with my parents will put a hamper on my attempts at dating. I’m planning to attend SAIC in Spring of 2011 for a certification program in Photography. It’s something I should have studied a very long time ago. Anyway, perhaps that would be a way to get out and meet new people. Meanwhile my loneliness is my shadow.

Here’s a photo I took this morning using my myTouch 4G:

follow the power lines down

Current Mood: Happy & Happy & Happy

I’ve posted two new videos to my Vimeo/zoblue account. I love watching the city’s buildings move as I walk down the sidewalk and I haven’t hurt myself so far. Mostly I try to be very aware of where the corners are and watch for any cracks in the sidewalk.

One of the videos is a recording to a waterfall in the plaza of the Aon Center. It’s a lovely little waterfall but it is pretty loud. I’ll try to post more videos of “moments” in the city. The other video is a reflection of one building in another building’s facade. The reflection is very fun and twisty!

Current Mood: Cool & Loved

I found a lovely pattern for sewing up some fabric slippers and I fell in love with the idea of wearing my favorite fabrics on my little tootsies! Pattern may be found here: Elle Tie-on slippers. I used some cotton canvas on the outside and the inside is a cute ducks pattern.

I really want to make some with fleece in the inside for extra luxury and softness.

Elle tie-on slippers,
originally uploaded by !!blue.