Grabbing the horns of life is still a challenge. I did it, I turned my life upside down. Completely fucking upside down despite everything. I tore down my fears and reached for happiness. I’m still reaching, I’m still looking for what I want for my future and my children’s future. It’s hard and lonely but I know I’m not alone. I’m not alone! Reaching out to my loved ones has helped me maintain my feet on the ground and clarity in the vision of my future I’m striving to create.

My optimistic heart also helps.

Our teacher then took the class to a Walgreen’s and had everyone buy supplies while she stood watch near the registers. I remember one of the classmates buying a can of Campbell’s ravioli or some such thing. He bought it because the ravioli was filled with beets and he was going to use that to color something.

I remember buying graphing paper, black shoe polish and poster board. My idea was to cut out a stencil from the poster board then use the shoe polish to stain the design onto the graphing paper. It was around this time that I woke up. I really wish I could have seen the project done.

I had a dream that I was having lunch in a high rise building with a great view of the city. Sitting at a long table with me was Alec Baldwin, Chandler from Friends, my sister and one of my cousins. Alec was teaching Chandler how to dance then he was going to ask me to dance. But suddenly people started running out of the room. I looked out the windows and was shocked to see the buildings in the city were smoking! There were these great large black plumes of smoke coming from every other building and I could see Lake Michigan in the distance with the sun close to setting. I remember thinking the sunset looked beautiful. That’s all I remember from my dream.